All of us in the office are pretty darn funny, if we do say so ourselves. Amanda and Rachel wield sarcasm like a keenly honed blade, Jeff is master of dad jokes, Adam excells at deadpan delivery, Mindy draws the strangest (and eerily accurate) parallels, Maria announces non-sequiturs out of the blue, and Brett…we’re not sure what he does. Even “new girl” Jenny turns a wicked phrase as well, though she’s still timid about it.

Then there’s Nicole.

Nicole will make the worst puns. Not “worst” as in “wow, that was clever but groan-inducing,” but “worst” as in, “that is the worst thing any living being has let slip from its mouth in the history of ever.” She will belabor the setup, telegraph the pun, say the pun, and then give us that breathy, open-mouthed laugh as though she just delivered the most valuable gem of modern wit to grace polite society. We ignore her. Then she explains exactly what the pun was, and why it was clever. And we continue to ignore her.

Our trauma is so great that we needed to share our burden with you. We are truly sorry for this.